Ugh I don't know

I don't even know what I want anymore. I don't know what I can find satisfaction in. I just rot all the time and I'm ruining my youthful aspirations. I know I'm going to regret every day I'm living now when I'm like, 30. I know I'm going to wish I did shit that I'm not doing, and the only thing I'm doing is working and hanging out, and I'm not taking advantage of my.... advantages. I'm a little anxious to get out of Lakes... but a little scared to make a decision as to what to do next. I don't want to leave the people I love, but I want to see the world for what it is, and I sure as hell can't do that in Washington... Lakewood in specific. I'm itchin to hang out in the big city.

By the way anyone good at styling hair for guys? Not like emo, but just make it decent looking for me.